Two nights ago, I had a startling breakthrough with my son.
Both my kids were outside playing with neighbors. They had already eaten dinner and it wasn’t bath night, so I let them play. And play. And play. Finally, I went outside around 8p.m. and gave them the 5-minute warning. I let it slide a little longer and went outside again at 8:15p.m. to call them in. They were not happy.
Clark was diagnosed with ADHD last fall and uses the Daytrana patch from wake-up time until 5p.m. every day. By 7p.m. every day, like clockwork, because the meds have worn off, he becomes hyper and a little irrational.
Well, he started using very bad language with me and was quite disrespectful. I warned him that I would punish him in front of his friends if he continued. It was a short but tedious walk back to the house, and somehow I got both the kids washed up and into their rooms. I walked into Clark’s room to put him into his pajamas and bring him downstairs for his pre-bedtime snack (the ADHD meds suppress his appetite all day). While still in bed, he said, “I’m sorry I talked to you like that, Mom. I don’t like it when you punish me in front of my friends. I want to remember to be nice to you.” I smiled and told him, “I don’t like it either when you talk to me like that. I makes me upset.” And he replied, “Yeah, I need to figure out a way to remember to be nice to you.”
We walked downstairs and I started to make him his snack. He asked, “What should I do to remember?” I told him that it was better if he thought of something. He would probably remember it better if he comes up with the idea than if I do.
He asked me for a piece of paper and a pen. “I want to scribble,” he said, “’cause that’s how I feel right now.”
What he drew wasn’t scribbling at all, it was quite organized. It was a drawing of me and him. We both had smiles on our faces and talking bubbles coming out of our mouths. Next to mine was the number 1 (so it should be read first) and it read, “Please do your chore.” Next to his was the number 2 (should be read second) and it read, “OK.” I smiled. He said, “Let’s leave it here on the kitchen table. That way, I’ll see the picture as I come and go and I’ll remember to be nice.”
And there it sits. It’s a self-empowering reminder to him to control himself. And it’s powerful evidence to me of the strength of the human spirit.
Both my kids were outside playing with neighbors. They had already eaten dinner and it wasn’t bath night, so I let them play. And play. And play. Finally, I went outside around 8p.m. and gave them the 5-minute warning. I let it slide a little longer and went outside again at 8:15p.m. to call them in. They were not happy.
Clark was diagnosed with ADHD last fall and uses the Daytrana patch from wake-up time until 5p.m. every day. By 7p.m. every day, like clockwork, because the meds have worn off, he becomes hyper and a little irrational.
Well, he started using very bad language with me and was quite disrespectful. I warned him that I would punish him in front of his friends if he continued. It was a short but tedious walk back to the house, and somehow I got both the kids washed up and into their rooms. I walked into Clark’s room to put him into his pajamas and bring him downstairs for his pre-bedtime snack (the ADHD meds suppress his appetite all day). While still in bed, he said, “I’m sorry I talked to you like that, Mom. I don’t like it when you punish me in front of my friends. I want to remember to be nice to you.” I smiled and told him, “I don’t like it either when you talk to me like that. I makes me upset.” And he replied, “Yeah, I need to figure out a way to remember to be nice to you.”
We walked downstairs and I started to make him his snack. He asked, “What should I do to remember?” I told him that it was better if he thought of something. He would probably remember it better if he comes up with the idea than if I do.
He asked me for a piece of paper and a pen. “I want to scribble,” he said, “’cause that’s how I feel right now.”
What he drew wasn’t scribbling at all, it was quite organized. It was a drawing of me and him. We both had smiles on our faces and talking bubbles coming out of our mouths. Next to mine was the number 1 (so it should be read first) and it read, “Please do your chore.” Next to his was the number 2 (should be read second) and it read, “OK.” I smiled. He said, “Let’s leave it here on the kitchen table. That way, I’ll see the picture as I come and go and I’ll remember to be nice.”
And there it sits. It’s a self-empowering reminder to him to control himself. And it’s powerful evidence to me of the strength of the human spirit.
Copyright 2009 Soozy G. Miller
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