The Dark Side of ADHD

Weathering the Storms and Then Allowing Redemption

Most of the time, I write positive things about my son, Clark, his ADHD and how we're coping. And things are gradually improving. Make no mistake, though, there have been very rough times.

Before we discovered Daytrana, Clark had violent emotional outbursts ("storms") whenever he felt stressed or upset. For months, he had one every night at bedtime. He is very strong and tall, and he would hit and kick me and throw things in the house. His sister, Jessica, actually learned
how to deal with this; she learned to leave the room and now can actually sleep through even the noisiest of storms. She usually will ask me, "Is this a storm?" to clarify the situation for herself.

One night in particular, I stupidly left his baseball equipment in his room—I thought he would be proud to have it there—and during his pre-bedtime storm, he took a baseball bat to his bedroom door. Jessica slept through the whole thing. I was shocked. I had just brought the kids upstairs, so she couldn't have been in bed that long.

Those days were dark times. I was convinced I was breeding a serial killer or a sociopath.

The ADHD counselor that I met with, Sheryl Pruitt, told me that redemption after the storm is over is as important as weathering the storm itself. She coached me on ways Clark could redeem himself after his brain had reset.

Clark's road to redemption included fixing the damage he did. So, after the bat incident, the next few days were about his putting the wall patches on the holes, spackling the patches and all other necessary spots, and sanding and smoothing rough areas, readying the door for painting.

The babysitter and I also removed all damaging objects from his room: Books, toys, anything heavy, bed posts, and framed pictures.

I stayed as steady and as strong as I could and hoped that his behavior would improve any minute. And it did.

The Miracle of Success: Two Nights in a Row, My Children Listened to Me

A miracle happened this week: My children listened to me! This week, my son actually smiled and followed my instructions the first time. I didn't have to yell or hear either of my kids yell at me—or even whine.

The kids were outside playing all afternoon. I gave them both the five-minute warning at 7:25 p.m. and they were agreeable to that, as usual. Then, five minutes later, I found Jessica and told her it was time to go home and...she listened! Then I found Clark and told him it was time to go home and... HE LISTENED! He smiled, told his friends he had to go, grabbed his bike, and rode it right to its spot in the garage.

Between 7:30-8:30 p.m. every night is stressful for me at our house. Clark is ADHD and wears the Daytrana patch from wake-up time until 5 p.m. every day. Like clockwork, at 7p.m. when his meds wear off, he is hyper and a little irrational. Sometimes he's violent. But for two nights this week, both kids were totally agreeable between 7:30-8:30 p.m. When I asked, "Will you please wash your hands for dinner?" I heard two voices say, "Yes, ma'am!" When I shut off the TV and said, "It's time to go upstairs!" I heard two voices say, "Yes, ma'am!" And both kids smiled.

I nearly fainted.

Jessica was in bed by 8:00 p.m. Clark was in bed by 8:45 p.m.

Maybe I'm more relaxed from my daily yoga. Maybe the stars are lined up. Maybe my children are growing up and my standing firm all this time made an impression. Maybe I turned the front doorknob three times to the left.

Whatever I did right, it worked.