On communication...and ADHD

Reducing ADHD stress for the winter break

2009-11-01T13:41:00.006-05:00

Since we turned off the TV, our household has because much calmer and more orderly. (See TV and ADHD.) And just when I got things under control, my ex called and asked to take the kids for 7 days over the winter holiday in December.

Never mind that the kids have never away from me that long. Never mind that their dad hates flying.

According to history, that means that my son, Clark, who has ADHD, will come home sleep-deprived and hyper, filled with junk food and acting disrespectfully. My daughter, Jessica, will also be sleep-deprived and filled with junk food and will whine for about 4 days.

In an effort to minimize the damage, I came up with a list--a guideline, if you will--of activities and suggestions for the kids' stay. I gave it to their dad and his mother:

1) Read 20 minutes every day

2) Only 1 hour of TV every day

3) No junk food

4) Spend time with at least 2 friends

5) Try to keep a schedule for bedtimes: Jess, 8:30p; Clark 10p

6) Do lots of exploring and learning.

I emailed it to Bobby and his mother and they both agreed that it is good list and they will abide by it.

We'll see.

Social media and digital marketing for large and small companies

2009-10-27T10:01:00.005-04:00

Believe it or not, some of the major corporations haven't started using social media on their websites. Walmart doesn't do it. And, as a result, I get emails from them about gas grills and clothes I would never consider wearing. Exxon doesn't do it. Exxon probably gets its feedback from public surveys and focus groups--both, in my experience, are not accurate.

Safelite Auto Glass, a smaller company, is on two social media sites. You should see all the feedback they're getting--and with that feedback, they're able to attend to customer issues right away and adjust their products and services accordingly. I'm sure their customer satisfaction rating is well above 50%.

I don't know of a better way to get true, honest customer feedback than social media. Social media and digital marketing, when combined, create a powerful marketing tool. The two-way interaction between customer and company is a win-win situation for both. The company learns more about their customer and creates more goods/services accordingly; the customer thereby develops a trust for the company and consistently buys from it.

In social media and digital marketing everyone wins.

Good copy/bad copy on social media

2009-10-22T09:07:00.003-04:00

The quality and substance of social media copy can make the difference between more visitors to a website and fewer visitors. Here are examples of bad and good copy.

BAD:
From T.G.I. Friday's "Woody" campaign. On Facebook:

"Shout out to all my fans that registered under the Last Chance tab this week! Time to BURGER DANCE cause you guys are getting your free burger coupons by 10/9. VICTORY TASTES SO SWEET...and so do burgers!"

GOOD:
On Twitter

"SEO Trainer Selection Tips http://tinyurl.com/yk2r84q"

The bad one is bad because
1) It is an all-out ad for a product and is self-promotional (social media no-no)
2) It has no links for more info
3) Who cares about Woody?

The good one is good because
1) It's message is simple
2) It has a link to a blog
3) It is informational and appears to come from a knowledgeable source

Any questions, contact soozy@soozy.com

TV and ADHD

2009-10-19T10:53:00.008-04:00

We are now a TV-free household. And, as a result, my children are now sane.

About two weeks ago, my kids were up to 3-4 hours of TV per day. I always let them watch after homework and before dinner so I had some time to myself. Trouble was, when they were watching, I didn't really have time to myself; my daughter always wanted me to sit with her and the kids would be quiet during the programs but wild and at each other during the commercial breaks.

On weekends, they watched more. So that I could have a little peace in bed, I let them watch 1-3 hours in the morning and it was never an easy time. Again, during the commercials, they would pick on each other or run crazy around the room. I found myself going in there several times to talk to them. Not peaceful.

My kids were difficult children. Jessica whined constantly. Clark has ADHD, and I believe all the action and flashing lights stimulated his hyperactivity; he back-talked, refused to listen to me or my mother, and would run around the house screaming. The kids constantly fought and yelled at me. They begged and begged for new toys. My mother and I were at our wits' end.

Then my mother got a glimpse of what they were actually watching. Characters (even on Disney) were hitting each other and saying mean things. There was a lot of violence (even on Tom and Jerry) and even though the main character learns something socially important (i.e. be a team player, get along with others, etc) during the episode, he or she often gets to that conclusion via fighting.

So, my mother suggested that we do something drastic: turn off the TV. Completely. With only pre-picked movies for Friday and/or Saturday night. And I watch with the movies with the kids.

The moment we turned off the TV, an amazing transformation happened. The kids became calm. They found other activities to do--they started playing with toys they hadn't touched in months. They got along better with each other. They were respectful and good listeners. They seemed relieved.

And now I spend more time with them because they are more fun to be with. There are still times--usually around 5 pm Jessica get cranky and Clark get mouthy--when I want to put them in front of the TV so I don't have to deal. But then I remember what they will be like afterward and instead I sit down and pay more attention to them.

You would not believe the difference unless you live with us.

How digital media has changed the news

2009-10-14T09:37:00.003-04:00

News reporting lag times have decreased dramatically from the '70s with the development of digital media.

Years ago, I heard an NPR interview with ABC newsman Ted Koppel. He explained that, while he was reporting from Vietnam, there was an approximate 5-day lag time between the field and actual airtime. He would record his report on tape, the tape would then be driven to the airport, where a plane would transport it--along with other things--to the US. There it would go to the ABC newsroom, where it would be edited and then aired. About 5 days.

In the interview, Koppel then went on to explain that his daughter had become a reporter. Her lag time was about 24 hours. She would report and send the audio/video file into the station (via email, probably) and then it would be aired within the day.

Today, thanks to digital media, all of this is instantaneous. News companies regularly show live news reports with embedded reporters on their websites. And anyone with digital video camera or cell phone with video can post to Google News or YouTube.

With increased speed comes increased content. Is speed necessarily a good thing?

Why a writer does social media

2009-10-08T11:40:00.002-04:00

As a freelance writer for over 25 years, I see social media and blog entries as merely marketing and business copy in another format.

1) The writer still has to come up with a pithy, catchy way of attracting the public's attention to a product or service. Blogs and social media entries are not just for the entertainment industry and finding old friends. Written right for a company, they are proof that the company is an authority in its field. The company is confident enough in its product/service to be transparent and invites customer feedback.

2) The company still has to spend its advertising dollars wisely; social media just helps narrow the target field. When the writer uses a lot of industry-specific buzz words and posts to niche sites as well as the big hitters, the writing will attract the appropriate crowd that will respond to ads.

3) Use of all social media sites is free. So companies get their customer feedback, find their target audience, and market their company for free. Theoretically, this means they have more money left over to pay the writer.

Why do social media?

2009-10-01T11:44:00.003-04:00

These days, you have to look beyond traditional marketing tactics. So, think of social media as a big cocktail party. No soliciting, no advertising. Just people talking about their field and seeing how they connect with others.

Why should a company get involved in social media?

1) Loyal customers and stronger business partners
Social media provides a two-way street for interaction between company and customer. Learn what your clients are interested in and get feedback while clients looks to your company for their products and services. Interaction leads to greater client/customer retention because it's based on trust. Interaction also leads to more solid, more productive business partners.

2) Visibility on search engines
The more you post, the more links you have, the more hits your site gets, the more visibility you will have on search engines. If someone searches for "wallpaper," you want your site to show up at the top of the hit list.

3) More effective advertising
Social media and traditional advertising are linked. You will create more targeted advertising by developing a community of interest (buzz) around your product or service and then advertising to that community.

Customers want transparency and companies want feedback. It's a win-win proposition.

Oh, and it's free.

The routine of school calms ADHD and our household

2009-10-01T11:23:00.004-04:00

Oh, do I love school.

It's not just that I'm seeing my kids grow and learn and that they seem to be having a great time while they're learning. And it's not just that I have gotten my life back and have time to take care of household chores and time to myself.

It feels great to have a routine again.

Morning:
7:15 am wake up and dress
7:20: breakfast
7:30 brush teeth, make beds
7:40: put on shoes, put lunch in backpack
7:45 go outside to wait for bus

Afternoon:
3:00 pm bus drop off
3-3:30 snack and relax time
3:30-4:30 homework and reading
6-8:00 TV time
6:30 (ish) dinner
8:00 Jessica to bed
9:45 Clark to bed

And Clark has basketball on Tuesdays, Jessica has gymnastics on Thursdays.

So the basic schedule every day is regimented and clear. Routine helps ADHD kids. And both my kids know what the schedule every day, they know what's expected of them.

Now on to fixing the weekends....

Overuse of ADHD drugs

2009-09-23T10:33:00.002-04:00

The issue of over-used and over-prescribed ADHD drugs is in the news:

Some doctors are prescribing ADHD drugs to patients who want to lose weight. “….a chemical imbalance in the brain that is caused by ADHD prevents obese people from being able to lose weight.” See the article:

http://www.alternativehealthjournal.com/article/the_drug_companies_are_at_it_again_doctors_prescribing_psychiatric_drugs_for_weight_loss/3581

And American Academy of Pediatrics reports in Pediatrics Magazine that “calls to poison control centers found that calls related to attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder medication abuse rose 76 percent.” Kids are using ADHD drugs to get high.

Check out this report:

http://www.cphpost.dk/news/national/88-national/46950-prescriptions-skyrocket-for-adhd-kids.html.

And this one on adolescents using ADHD drugs recreationally:

http://www.wmicentral.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=20370890&BRD=2264&PAG=461&dept_id=506172&rfi=6

2009-09-21T14:42:00.001-04:00

Stress and ADHD
In the time between the end of camp and the beginning of school, our became quite stressful--and this has affected both my kids.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/2155999/stress_and_adhd.html

2009-09-21T14:36:00.001-04:00

ADHD Kids Don't Like Getting Ready
Clark has ADHD and does not like getting ready for anything. Once he gets there, he's great.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/2103573/adhd_kids_dont_like_getting_ready.html

2009-09-21T14:33:00.001-04:00

ADHD Storms from Stress, as Predicted
Clark suffers from ADHD storms before, during and after seeing his father.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/2035915/adhd_storms_from_stress_as_predicted.html

2009-08-07T20:57:00.001-04:00

Dad is Coming to Visit: ADHD Stress and Storms
My son's behavior changes--out of anticipation and stress--when he knows he's going to see Daddy.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1990856/dad_is_coming_to_visit_adhd_stress.html

2009-08-05T21:36:00.001-04:00

Baby Steps Toward Better Sleep
Change is slow in this house, but it does happen.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1957894/baby_steps_toward_better_sleep.html

2009-08-05T21:32:00.001-04:00

When a Child's Sleeping Habits Change
Everyone in our household has had to adjust sleeping arrangements since we moved.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1896740/when_a_childs_sleeping_habits_change.html

2009-07-08T20:46:00.001-04:00

2009-06-29T14:23:00.001-04:00

Mommy-Is-Away Behavior
If you want to see what your kids are really like behind the whining, watch them with other adults.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1858217/mommyisaway_behavior.html

2009-06-21T16:26:00.001-04:00

Why An Eating Schedule for an ADHD Child Can Be Exhausting
An eating schedule for a medicated ADHD child can make for a long, exhausting day.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1799596/why_an_eating_schedule_for_an_adhd.html

They Remember That?!

2009-05-21T16:23:00.001-04:00

My Children Have the Most Remarkable Memory for Toys

We are packing up the house to move. This month, May, we move from Georgia to New York. All is going well. The most annoying part of the process seems to be the toys in the playroom.

I admit the kids have too many toys. Many of the toys are buried in one of two big bins and both children have no idea what's in either bin. This is because, as hard as I try to keep them organized about it, when it's clean-up time, they want the job to be easy so they just throw their things in the nearest container.

The funny thing is, whenever I go to toss a toy or give a toy to charity, inevitably about one month later, the kids will remember that exact thing—no matter how small and insignificant it seemed to me. I'll pick something up off the ground—it's usually smaller than my hand—and I'll think, "Wow, I haven't seen this for weeks." But the kids will remember it after it's gone. "Hey Mom, do you know where that small red ball is?"... "Do you know where my doll's blue ring is?"..."Remember that blue cube from that game—do we still have it?" They will ask for the small things that I didn't think they paid any attention to.

When we fly, I tell both kids to fill their travel backpacks. They can bring whatever they can fit in the bag. Again, it's funny: They usually pick things they've not paid attention to before.

For the move, I'm going to ask both to pick five favorite toys that they will play with upon arrival and everything else goes on the truck. I'd better go look for that small red ball...

The Dark Side of ADHD

2009-05-15T13:33:00.000-04:00

Weathering the Storms and Then Allowing Redemption

Most of the time, I write positive things about my son, Clark, his ADHD and how we're coping. And things are gradually improving. Make no mistake, though, there have been very rough times.

Before we discovered Daytrana, Clark had violent emotional outbursts ("storms") whenever he felt stressed or upset. For months, he had one every night at bedtime. He is very strong and tall, and he would hit and kick me and throw things in the house. His sister, Jessica, actually learned
how to deal with this; she learned to leave the room and now can actually sleep through even the noisiest of storms. She usually will ask me, "Is this a storm?" to clarify the situation for herself.

One night in particular, I stupidly left his baseball equipment in his room—I thought he would be proud to have it there—and during his pre-bedtime storm, he took a baseball bat to his bedroom door. Jessica slept through the whole thing. I was shocked. I had just brought the kids upstairs, so she couldn't have been in bed that long.

Those days were dark times. I was convinced I was breeding a serial killer or a sociopath.

The ADHD counselor that I met with, Sheryl Pruitt, told me that redemption after the storm is over is as important as weathering the storm itself. She coached me on ways Clark could redeem himself after his brain had reset.

Clark's road to redemption included fixing the damage he did. So, after the bat incident, the next few days were about his putting the wall patches on the holes, spackling the patches and all other necessary spots, and sanding and smoothing rough areas, readying the door for painting.

The babysitter and I also removed all damaging objects from his room: Books, toys, anything heavy, bed posts, and framed pictures.

I stayed as steady and as strong as I could and hoped that his behavior would improve any minute. And it did.

The Miracle of Success: Two Nights in a Row, My Children Listened to Me

2009-05-13T16:39:00.000-04:00

A miracle happened this week: My children listened to me! This week, my son actually smiled and followed my instructions the first time. I didn't have to yell or hear either of my kids yell at me—or even whine.

The kids were outside playing all afternoon. I gave them both the five-minute warning at 7:25 p.m. and they were agreeable to that, as usual. Then, five minutes later, I found Jessica and told her it was time to go home and...she listened! Then I found Clark and told him it was time to go home and... HE LISTENED! He smiled, told his friends he had to go, grabbed his bike, and rode it right to its spot in the garage.

Between 7:30-8:30 p.m. every night is stressful for me at our house. Clark is ADHD and wears the Daytrana patch from wake-up time until 5 p.m. every day. Like clockwork, at 7p.m. when his meds wear off, he is hyper and a little irrational. Sometimes he's violent. But for two nights this week, both kids were totally agreeable between 7:30-8:30 p.m. When I asked, "Will you please wash your hands for dinner?" I heard two voices say, "Yes, ma'am!" When I shut off the TV and said, "It's time to go upstairs!" I heard two voices say, "Yes, ma'am!" And both kids smiled.

I nearly fainted.

Jessica was in bed by 8:00 p.m. Clark was in bed by 8:45 p.m.

Maybe I'm more relaxed from my daily yoga. Maybe the stars are lined up. Maybe my children are growing up and my standing firm all this time made an impression. Maybe I turned the front doorknob three times to the left.

Whatever I did right, it worked.

2009-05-07T15:59:00.000-04:00

Giving in to a Child's Crazy Idea Can Benefit the Parent
Joining Clark in a fun activity made him feel better. He was easier to handle at dinner time and bedtime.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1713037/giving_in_to_a_childs_crazy_idea_can.html

2009-05-05T17:44:00.001-04:00

The Importance of Writing and Communicating in the IT Profession
IT professionals and trainers explain the importance of writing and communicating in the IT field.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1699523/the_importance_of_writing_and_communicating.html

2009-05-04T15:33:00.000-04:00

I like Oprah, But...A Single, Childless Woman Should Not Introduce a Birthing Video
The birthing class video company chose the only famous face at the time to introduce the video.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1693057/i_like_oprah_buta_single_childless.html

2009-05-01T20:09:00.001-04:00

Bath Buddies
Friends waited for Clark to take a shower before they played.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1680918/bath_buddies.html

2009-04-22T18:25:00.001-04:00

Twenty-First Century Interviewing
I couldn't reach IT professors via phonecalls, so I switched to social media and got the response and information I needed.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1659947/twentyfirst_century_interviewing.html

2009-04-22T16:50:00.001-04:00

A Lesson About Bath Timing: Bathing Time is Easier when It's Earlier
A single mom of an ADHD child learns it's easier to bathe him before the meds wear off.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1656277/a_lesson_about_bath_timing_bathing.html

2009-04-22T16:35:00.001-04:00

The Flip Side of TV Commercials
After watching two TV commercials, Clark takes out the garbage and I have fresh produce and cold cuts.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1656023/the_flip_side_of_tv_commercials.html

From Wordy to Well Written

2009-04-22T15:47:00.000-04:00

This is the perfect example of what I do.

Below is a letter I worked on last year for a temple. As the Director of Communications for the place, I was responsible for reviewing and approving all materials that went out to the public. This letter went out to all the local businesses, asking them to purchase ads in gala program. I think the original writer got bogged down in unnecessary details and lost the focus of the letter.

Read the BEFORE and then the AFTER and you'll understand my trade.

BEFORE

Dearest Friends...
Our community is like a garden...thriving only through dedicated attention, constant devotion and care. For more than two decades, [Temple X], [X County]’s oldest synagogue, has been an active and involved presence...tending to both the [X County] community and the metro Atlanta area as well.

This Fall, [Temple X] is proud to host “Lights of [TEMPLE X]”...a fabulous evening of food and fun, initiated to annually recognize some of our communities most dedicated and beloved “gardeners.” Lights of [TEMPLE X] will feature Atlanta media personality [Name X] as Master of Ceremonies, and the evening will be highlighted by a gourmet Mediterranean
dinner buffet, music and dancing with The Society Express Band, and the bestowment of [Temple X] newest honor...the [Temple X Award].

In Hebrew, the word “avodah” is used to describe service or work, particularly to God, or in His name. In English, we refer to the same as community service or performing good deeds. This year’s event honors [Rabbi X], senior Rabbi at [Temple X] since 19XX and recent recipient of an honorary doctorate for 25 years in the Rabbinate, as well as [Persons X], active [TEMPLE X] congregants and founders of the [Preschool X] [TEMPLE X]. As our 2008 recipients, [Rabbi X] and [Persons X] will be receiving the very first [TEMPLE X] Award.

We’re hoping we can count on you and your business to help make this important milestone event a great fundraising success for [TEMPLE X]! We feel it will be a beneficial partnership for everyone, especially our community. Funds raised from Lights of [TEMPLE X] will be used by [Temple X] to aid continuation of important educational, spiritual and social programming that [TEMPLE X] has been providing to the area for over two decades. Without your help, many adults and children in our community might be deprived of resources in the future which they have counted on in the past.

We’re excited to be able to offer you a wonderful opportunity to participate in Lights of [TEMPLE X]!

We are producing and publishing a Commemorative Ad Journal/Event Program to distribute that evening. We offer several sizes of ads at reasonable prices. This is also a wonderful way for your business to increase visibility in our area, as well as give back to the community. We have attached a form for your convenience...we hope you’ll find supporting Lights of [TEMPLE X] a win-win for all...reaping great benefits to both your business, as well as the greater metro area. All donations and funds raised will directly impact our community, through the continued funding of the important and diverse needs that [TEMPLE X] has and will continue to provide for in the coming years.

If you should have any questions, please feel free to call us anytime!

AFTER

This fall, Temple X is proud to host the first annual Lights of Temple X, a gala to honor Rabbi X and Mr. and Mrs. X for their contributions to Temple X and the Jewish community. The evening will include Miss X as Master of Ceremonies, a gourmet Mediterranean dinner buffet, music and dancing with The Society Express Band, and the bestowment of the Temple X Avodah Award for Community Service.

We are producing and publishing a commemorative Ad Journal/Event Program to distribute that evening. We offer several sizes of ads at reasonable prices. You can increase your business visibility in our area and give back to the community.

Funds raised from Lights of Temple X will be used only by Temple X to continue its educational, spiritual and social programming.

We have attached a form for your convenience. If you should have any questions, please feel free to call us anytime.

Boyle-ing a Lesson for Kids

2009-04-21T13:47:00.000-04:00

Susan Boyle is all over social media. Everyone is shocked that an unattractive, silly woman can sing so beautifully. It was very nice to see the judges’ and audience’s faces turn from cynical to surprise as soon as she sang the first note.

And because two of the judges spoke about the lesson they learned, I decided that this was a good example to show my kids how important it is to see someone from the inside as well as the outside.

First I showed the clip to my four-year-old daughter, Jessica. She talks about school friends teasing her and each other, so I thought she would have an “Aha!” moment. But she just watched it quietly and walked away. A few minutes later, her babysitter and I asked, “What did you learn from that video?” I guess because it’s on video and not real life, she felt removed from it and it didn’t affect her. Or maybe she is too young to understand the don’t-judge-a-book-by-its-cover idea unless it’s actually happening to her. She didn’t understand the question or how to answer it.

My six-year-old son’s reaction was immediate—and, interestingly, the longer the video dragged on for him the more confused he got. When Susan Boyle came on stage and he heard the audience whispering and laughing, he commented that they weren’t being nice to her. He asked why they were teasing her and I explained that they thought she was funny looking and weird. Then she started to sing and he heard the cheers and then heard the judges’ comments and he got confused. Apparently, he had gotten the point right off and was expecting something else. Of course people cheer when they hear talent—why wouldn’t they? So by the time she actually began singing, the point was lost on him—he had already gotten the message well before she sang a note.

2009-04-21T12:52:00.001-04:00

What to Do when the Internet is Down
Mom enjoys watching a storm when her internet goes down.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1649285/what_to_do_when_the_internet_is_down.html

2009-04-21T12:51:00.001-04:00

Another Night with ADHD
Despite Clark's ADHD symptoms, he continues to perform mitzvahs (good deeds).
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1652026/another_night_with_adhd.html

What to do When the Internet Goes Down

2009-04-20T13:51:00.000-04:00

One of my most dreaded situations in business is when the internet goes down. My office is in my bedroom, so I get nervous about missing out and not being able to keep in touch.

Yesterday morning, the sunny south experienced a morning nor'easter. Our electricity went off for an hour and my cable, internet and phone were down all morning. So in between modem checks, I did house chores. I checked the lights, and then folded some laundry. I checked them again and got the flashlights prepared. I checked a third time, and then washed the morning dishes. I also looked outside.

I said a quick prayer that none of the tree branches close to my house would cause any damage and then I watched nature at work. I watched the angry treetops twist. I watched the rain cause mist. I saw the wind blowing nature's debris around.

My son was safe in school and my daughter was safe with me, looking quite cozy as she watched a DVD with her headphones on. We were all safe and healthy and the internet would come up soon.

I enjoyed watching the power of nature instead of worrying about the power of man.

It was a good morning.

An Empowering Reminder

2009-04-19T10:32:00.000-04:00

Two nights ago, I had a startling breakthrough with my son.

Both my kids were outside playing with neighbors. They had already eaten dinner and it wasn’t bath night, so I let them play. And play. And play. Finally, I went outside around 8p.m. and gave them the 5-minute warning. I let it slide a little longer and went outside again at 8:15p.m. to call them in. They were not happy.

Clark was diagnosed with ADHD last fall and uses the Daytrana patch from wake-up time until 5p.m. every day. By 7p.m. every day, like clockwork, because the meds have worn off, he becomes hyper and a little irrational.

Well, he started using very bad language with me and was quite disrespectful. I warned him that I would punish him in front of his friends if he continued. It was a short but tedious walk back to the house, and somehow I got both the kids washed up and into their rooms. I walked into Clark’s room to put him into his pajamas and bring him downstairs for his pre-bedtime snack (the ADHD meds suppress his appetite all day). While still in bed, he said, “I’m sorry I talked to you like that, Mom. I don’t like it when you punish me in front of my friends. I want to remember to be nice to you.” I smiled and told him, “I don’t like it either when you talk to me like that. I makes me upset.” And he replied, “Yeah, I need to figure out a way to remember to be nice to you.”

We walked downstairs and I started to make him his snack. He asked, “What should I do to remember?” I told him that it was better if he thought of something. He would probably remember it better if he comes up with the idea than if I do.

He asked me for a piece of paper and a pen. “I want to scribble,” he said, “’cause that’s how I feel right now.”

What he drew wasn’t scribbling at all, it was quite organized. It was a drawing of me and him. We both had smiles on our faces and talking bubbles coming out of our mouths. Next to mine was the number 1 (so it should be read first) and it read, “Please do your chore.” Next to his was the number 2 (should be read second) and it read, “OK.” I smiled. He said, “Let’s leave it here on the kitchen table. That way, I’ll see the picture as I come and go and I’ll remember to be nice.”

And there it sits. It’s a self-empowering reminder to him to control himself. And it’s powerful evidence to me of the strength of the human spirit.

Firm Again with ADHD, Proud Again

2009-04-14T11:19:00.000-04:00

This morning, I put my son's ADHD Daytrana patch on before he woke up, as usual, but he was particularly hyper this morning.

He changed his breakfast from his usual blueberry waffles to Dinochicken, and only ate half. Then, when it was time to brush his teeth and go to the bus stop with me, he outright refused. He suddenly begged and begged me to drive him to school. I explained that my driving is a waste of gas and time--and his sister was still asleep, so it wasn't going to happen.

He persisted for more than a minute. "Drive me pleeeeease?! You never drive me. Pleeeeeease?!"

I am, again, proud of myself. I said no calmly and firmly and asked him to control his temper and keep calm. When I told him I would take away his GameBoy for the rest of the day, he relented. But he was hyper walking to the bus stop and at the bus stop.

Some days are easier than others to stay firm. This morning I was and I am proud.

Copyright 2009 by Soozy G. Miller

I Was Firm, I Am Proud

2009-04-14T09:43:00.000-04:00

Clark's Daytrana ADHD patch comes off at 5 pm every day. Like clockwork, by 7 pm, he's hyper and a little irrational. Now that spring is here, he wants to stay out later and later with his neighborhood friends and he feels silly and embarrassed when I call him before the others get called in.

Last night, I got both my kids inside by 7pm. They had dinner, watched some tv, had a bath and were in bed by 8pm.

How?

For the first time in a long time, despite my exhaustion from the day, I held firm to my plan. At dinner, Clark begged to go back out and play. After bath, he begged again. When one of Clark's friends came to the door to ask to play, the kids answered in their pj's and looked at me one last time for a glimmer of hope. All three times, I said no firmly and I stuck with it. When they raised their voices I immediately told them to be calm and control themselves. I expected Clark to have a storm and I was prepared for it. But between being firm and requesting calm, I got them in bed.

Being a single mom, I'm not always so strong. But last night, I was firm, so today I am proud.

Copyright 2009 Soozy G. Miller